The Xbox 720 Shouldn't Have Achievements
Surely this tired mechanic should be put to bed soon?
Like the Pavlovian dogs that we are, for five years we’ve had our obsessive urges quenched by that familiar ‘Achievement Unlocked’ ping, providing reward for play that would previously have been its own.
It seems legitimate to ask, though, if anyone out there is really all that bothered about the system any longer, and whether Microsoft should consign it to history upon the release of their next Xbox.Here’s why:
- It forces you to do terrible things – Where once we’d have played for the sheer joy, countless hours are now lost to chasing irrelevant goals that shouldn’t really exist. Worse still, who here has thrown countless hours of their lives away chasing criteria they never quite reached. Hello, Ridge Racer 6!
- It breeds hate in your fellow gamer - There can be no system that will more surely bring about hostility between groups of people that assigning them numbers based upon an abstract ability. It’s like a five-year-long psychology experiment set loose. Its removal would surely usher in an age of harmony on Xbox Live.
- It’s going to become even more elitist – As gaming lumbers increasingly towards an online-only future, more Achievements would surely be awarded for various forms of victory against fellow players, allowing those with skill to disappear far into the distance, behind dedicated newcomers. Isn’t Kinect meant to have ushered in an age of inclusive gaming?
- It meddles with sales figures - Previous to this generation, a terrible videogame would have sunk to the bottom of the pile like Mario without a frog suit on. Now said titles tempt gamers in with a banquet of tasty GamerPoints, causing them to concede that yes, Rango: The Videogame isn’t all that bad. When it definitely is.
- It allows developers to get away with murder – Not literally of course, but consider this. Prior to 2005, the creation of an expansive, open world environment filled with collectibles would have been deemed lazy. With an Achievement attached to the collection thereof, it’s now technically gameplay. This cannot be allowed to continue, for the sake of the average gamer’s sanity. Collecting things is no more entertaining in videogame form than it would be in a park, with a metal detector. That’s why all the people you see doing it smell and have no friends. Fact.