Mass Effect 3 – We’ve reviewed it, and it’s…
Mass Effect 3 on Xbox…we’ve played it, and we’ve reviewed it. What are our opinions?
…well…it’s…we can’t actually say. Our lips are sealed shut by NDAs and embargoes and all other scary legal bits and bobs that keep us from telling you about how in Mass Effect 3 [REDACTED] kills [REDACTED] for [REDACTED]. The embargo doesn’t lift for a few days yet, so we can’t say anything. We want to, but we can’t. Our heads are swirling with events and characters and choices and locations. We know what happens. We’ve completed the game. And as much we want to spill the beans all over the show like some kind of juicy, spoiler-ific bean spilling machine, we can’t.
What we can do is tease you like the evil trolls we are. Here are a few choice snippets from X360′s upcoming review of the game, taken completely out of context. Be aware that we’ve purposefully provided some that might not necessarily say what they appear to be saying. What could they refer to? What could they mean? You’re going to have to wait for issue 83 – on sale 21 March – to find out…
“…might perplex and annoy as many as it satisfies”
“…more powerful and direct”
“…big-breasted space nymphs”
“in these lesser known corners of the universe…”
“Where Mass Effect 3 feels most discernibly improved over its predecessor is…”
“…self-involved and selfish”
“a more varied and dangerous…”
“…feels like a chore”
“…and bite you in the ass”