Gamescom 2011: 10 Reasons The PSVita Will Bomb
Because traditional handheld gaming’s number is up…
1) Poor release timing
Sony’s Gamescom announcement that it’ll be taking care of its native Japan before Europe or the USA obviously means the company will be missing out on a whole lot of Westerners celebrating that obscure holy festival known as Christmas. It’s why the games industry only becomes interesting in September, and it’s why sales will suffer as a result.
Considering how hard Nintendo is having to pimp their handheld on television right now, assuring customers it ‘isn’t a DS, but a 3DS’ like Marks & Spencer are manufacturing it or something, £279 just won’t fly. Because, after all, who buys the cheap model?
3) Software price
Arguably the most important factor. Though users will have access to PlayStation Suite software, for the stuff most people will be interested in, we’ll be looking at prices closer to PSP than PS3. In an age where iOS gamers can have their thrills for a few quid, if that. Madness.
4) Split functionality
Selling a device in staggered fashion, as Sony intend to do with 3G and barebones varients of their device, will lead to groups of gamers missing out on the collaberative experiences its protional trailers seem to suggest are its highlight. Do you want to play a game on a system you own that won’t work on your own machine?
5) Mobile friendly software
Does anyone, apart from about twelve ultra hardcore souls, really want to play games such as Uncharted and Resistance on a mobile device any longer? On the bus? Only the most committed won’t question why they aren’t reclined on an armchair somewhere, before a home cinema system and screen size appropriate to the task. Mobile gaming demands bite-sized snippets of fun, not overblown epics.
6) Developers don’t want it
Heavy Iron Studios have already described the Vita’s lauch as a ‘car wreck’ months ahead of time, suggesting that people simply don’t want to carry more than one electrical device around with them at all times. We’re inclined to agree. Surely, if the trend of history has been towards convergence – one device that will perform all mobile entertainment functions. Surely to multiply their number now would be to take a large step backwards?
7) Analyst pressure
Which seems to suggest Sony are being a little hopeful with its current RRP.
8) The time has passed
In short, does anyone realy want to be seen in public shouting at their device as Frobisher Says demands? That stuff might have flown when the DS was a novelty – that window of opportunity in which you won’t look like a person on some kind of register has been and gone.
9) Our thumbs will die
Though including two analogue sticks on a flat device seems impressive given the touch screened competition, we don’t want to grow old with a pair of wizened claws. Fact.
10) There’s a recession on
Petrol prices through the roof, utilities rising by double percentage figures, food continuing to edge upwards. The next home generation of consoles seems to be floating at a consistent distance away – what hope does the industry have of prising cash from worried consumers at this point?