10 Games that the Xbox 360 will never live down

For all the good we receive on the Xbox 360, there’s a group of games that just have to go and ruin it for everyone else. Either broken to their core or simply unplayable, they are worth absolutely no one’s time. Here’s some of the worst contenders…

10) Brain Challenge (Xbox Live Arcade)

Here’s how we assume this meeting went…

Important executive 1: Has anyone seen this Brain Training game on the DS? We need to emulate its success!

Man who has too much power for his own good: Why don’t we try and copy it only forget to put the game side in it?

Important executive 1: Winner!

9) Vampire Rain

It’s bad enough that vampires are deemed so ‘cool’ the Twilight series of films are a success, but Vampire Rain is a whole new insult entirely. Tasked with the supposedly simple aim of creeping around in the rain trying to avoid the living dead, it only takes an unexplainable occurrence for one of them to pick up on your scent and kill you within seconds. Anyone who thinks this is anything like Metal Gear Solid should be thrown down a well…

8 ) Two Worlds

Oblivion was pretty damned good, wasn’t it? So, why not just use a similar template but see what happens when you smash it into a thousand pieces? Two Worlds was so ridiculous its highlight was the completely insane dialogue and the fact you could jump backwards. That and horses had a knack for committing suicide. Unfortunately, the Elder Scrolls approach worked as Two Worlds did quite well at the checkout.

7) Turning Point: Fall Of Liberty

In theory, Turning Point is one of the finest games of our time. Set in a world where Nazi Germany has overpowered Europe and is preparing to attack the United States, it boasts a premise that deserves to be paid attention to… and then you play it. Seemingly stuck in the same time period as its story, your real enemy is the controls and your biggest threat the lack of being able to pull off a headshot. We would rather be forced to eat our own faces than play this mess again. If only Spark Unlimited had remembered to code the game…

6) Hour Of Victory

What do you do when you want to develop a quick WWII game but the words call of duty and medal of honor are taken? You just hurl two random ones around the ‘of’ and hope that it sticks. Hour Of Victory was so stupid it made you pick between three classes – a commando, sniper or a covert operative – but stopped you from doing the simplest things if you picked the wrong one. If Midway’s shocking war outing is to be believed, some soldiers can’t climb ladders. Brilliant…

5) You’re In The Movies

But you’re not, are you? Instead you’re in a pretty terrible 2 minute trailer that used up your precious commodity called life. Never getting that back now, right? Luckily you’ll always have the memory of looking scared when you pretend to see a spider. With nowhere near enough mini-games or videos, Microsoft’s attempt at securing a piece of the casual gaming pie was extremely short-lived and, honestly, a little bit stupid.

4) FIFA World Cup 2006

There was a time when FIFA was terrible. Thrown out the door year-after-year just so it could exist, stabbing yourself in the eye with a pen served as a more entertaining experience. Thankfully, EA saw fit to pack them full with easy Achievements, meaning although playing through them was a nightmare, the satisfaction of seeing your Gamerscore rise by 1,000 points in a short period left you with that fuzzy glow they often do. 2006 changed all that. Pretending it was following a similar path, the 500G on offer for completing every scenario took a hideous turn when you were asked to score a truckload of goals against the Soloman Islands (the Soloman Islands!) and then try to come back and beat Brazil with Sweden. Aside from both teams employing superheros, it’s one of the most frustrating challenges in any game ever. We’re sure we were moments away from an actual heart attack! That and you couldn’t skip substitutions…

3) Bombeman: Act Zero

They gave it a story…

2) Rogue Warrior

Imagine how embarrassed Rebellion’s parents must be.

‘So what does your child do?’
‘Nothing… they do absolutely nothing…’

Shellshock 2 was dire, Aliens Vs Predator was as mediocre as they come but Rogue Warrior was simply unfinished. Shooting didn’t work. Melee kills didn’t work. Moving forward didn’t work. Pushing the start button didn’t work. £50 please? **** off!

1) Fuzion Frenzy 2

Why, oh why was this game ever released? Complete with some of the worst mini-games to ever exist, it was pushed over the edge thanks to our infuriating and deserving of torture host. Aside from his constant chatting, if you took Fuzion Frenzy 2 online it refused to let you skip his rambled verbal tirades. That meant an absolutely baffling amount of time between each mini-game as you sat there waiting for him to shut the hell up. The maniac could genuinely ramble on for 5 or so minutes, giving you plenty of time to buy the rope, turn it into a noose and set it up. The world would be a better place if this garbage didn’t exist.