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Top 10 Kinect Games


10. Zumba Fitness
Developer: Majesco

Yet another way to get fit if your jumping about and burning calories needs the focus offered by a computer program telling you what to do. Even we could match that: Get up, jump, sit down. Repeat until dead.

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9. The Biggest Loser: Ultimate Workout
Developer: Blitz Games Studios

Three fitness games in the top ten? Yes, the first set of Kinect games was that atrocious. And Microsoft still maintain that the launch was a massive success. That all depends on how you define success, we guess.

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8. Fighters Uncaged
Developer: AMA Studios

It’s as exhausting as you want it to be. And that’s the nicest thing we have to say about AMA’s Fighters Uncaged. We’re still not sure whether it was the developer or the studio at fault for this waste of time.

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7. Kinect Joyride
Developer: BigPark

Not entirely devoid of fun and laughs just so long as you acknowledge that the game is pitched at a difficulty level at which not moving a muscle from the beginning of the race to the end will still get you second place.

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6. Your Shape: Fitness Evolved
Developer: Ubisoft

The slightly-less-successful-that-EA-Sports-Active-2 fitness program for those who prefer to have themselves represented on-screen as a man-shaped novelty balloon filled with diet tango.

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5. Kinect Sports
Developer: Rare

Like Wii Sports. Like Wii Sports. Like Wii Sports. Like Wii Sports. Like Wii Sports. Like Wii Sports. Like Wii Sports. Like Wii Sports. Like Wii Sports. Like Wii Sports. Like Wii Sports. Like Wii Sports. Yes.

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4. Kinect Adventures
Developer: Good Science Studios

It comes with the hardware making anything pretty hard to complain about. Even if it’s hives. Luckily Kinect Adventures is actually pretty good fun, provided you play with friends and don’t expect it to last.

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3. EA Sports Active 2
Developer: EA

Will Kinect really make you fitter? If you do it every day for a year, most definitely. EA Sports Active 2 is easily the most successful at sorting all of that jumping about into some kind of organized structure.

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2. Kinectimals
Developer: Frontier Developments

Want to see Kinect shine at what is does best? Besides playing Dance Central until you’re physically sick, try putting a child of around 4-10 in front of Kinectimals and just watch. Pure joy is a rare thing.

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1. Dance Central
Developer: Harmonix

Being a single-format games magazine is not all it’s cracked up to be. You probably think it’s all cars and pool-parties and bling-bling-bling and juggling hot dates with international supermodels and private jets to the Happy Shopper. Well, it’s all those things, yes, but sometimes the people behind the platform that it’s your job to largely support drop the odd clanger. Kinect games the way they are, this list cannot read as anything but an indictment of Kinect and it’s extremely lackluster launch line-up (of which Dance Central is the best effort).

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  • KARL HIGBEE

    Thanks for the review, that was clearly conducted by a PS3 lover, I just bought a Kinect for the family to play at Christmas, and thought I’d read an unbiased review of the other games available, the only constructive thing about this review was………..

    ………..The rest was completely negative.

    You could have saved yourselves a lot of time by just writing “DON’T BUY ONE AND IF YOU’VE ACCIDENTLY BOUGHT ONE ALREADY, GET A REFUND”

    I’ll find out the hard way and play it over Christmas thanx :)

  • adam knight

    lol karl higbee doesnt like the review, because it doesnt sit well with his opinion. i take it karl means he’s off to find his version of unbiased. i have a kinect and im afraid it does suck, the launch was all hype, and its not worth the cash even nearly. weak launch titles and a high price, make it one to buy in around march when the bargain bins over flow with them and pre owned kinects will be less than half price..the initial review is good, and honest.

  • J

    This blog is a biased bag of shite. Fucking ‘tard!!

  • J’s mate

    Yeah I actually came here for somebody who ENJOYS the kinect and doesn’t want to sit on their ar** all day with nothing but a controller in their hand. The Kinect is good…for the people who like it – clearly not everybody. But find somebody in your organisation who enjoys it, give them the games and fecking well review them!

    Signed,

    FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE A KINECT AND ARE INTERESTED IN MORE GAMES. dik’ed.

  • Zamio

    Woah,Woah Woah! What kind of biased shit is this?! I came here looking for unbiased reviews, not mindless drivel from some idiot that started this review determined to hate on the Kinect. I for one would love to find some good honest reviews, but all I can find are some idiots crying about motion gaming.

  • vivi3

    WTF???!!! Why it is so negative??? can u enjoy it?? or u r too lazy too move yer ass…

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  • Chopped Liver

    Jeeze! Lighten up man. Did you write this on no sleep? This is simply a TERRIBLE REVIEW! I can’t believe it is so high in the google search results!

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  • Madhu

    This is a stupidass review! Why all the hate? Why did the author spend so much time testing the games if he clearly thought these games were a waste of time from the get go.

  • Jesus

    Don’t bother review is crap, nothing is good enough for David Lynch, when to school with him guys a dick

  • http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-20295754 Joe Blow

    Hey Mr.Lynch, your films are pretty good but your game and console peripheral reviews suck.
    The Kinect is great fun and will get you fit… that’s why you buy it.
    It’s not for serious, hardcore gamers to sit alone and play… seriously.

    This review is awful.

  • david

    so kinect adventures and kinectimals are better than kinect sports i call bullshit

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  • http://www.funbirdy.com fun online games

    Good post. I learn something new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon everyday.
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  • Butthurt Beverly

    BRahahahahah ALL YALL BUTTHURTIN’ Cuz this guy says your Kinect is gay. Deal with it. It’s a faggot product and I’m 3 years late.

    Yeah, I’m black. I get pissed. So Suck a Dick!

  • Sean Lumly

    This is a top-10 list?!

    These mobile-class/party games seem fun, but are there any actual examples of more serious, mature, story-driven games for Kinect? It seems like the lack of buttons severely restricts the types of games you can play with Kinect, and makes it more of a gimmick when talking about actual gameplay.

    All of this talk about ‘potential’ hasn’t seemed to amount to much. While I think that Kinect-hacking has been very cool, the games are not nearly compelling enough for me to take this device seriously.

  • Victor Alexis

    I am 4 years late and I agree it sucks ass.