We’ve been waiting for Ninety-Nine Nights – or N3 as it’s also known – for what seems like forever, right back from when impressive videos were being previewed to the press. Hopes were riding high for it to be the kind of spectacular title that would shift 360 systems and certainly in the beginning it comes across as a thrilling Dynasty Warriors-style game that really pushes the hardware. Unfortunately, this initial excitement isn’t maintained for long.

Things start well, with a fun training mission that gives access to higher level special moves. But as soon as you become accustomed and start enjoying the ability to perform combo kills, the game strips your character of all power and reduces them to having a few measly and very weak attacks. This is a monumentally stupid design decision forcing you to laboriously level them up just to acquire the better, fun attacks. This punishes the player for wanting to enjoy the game, since a low-level character is not fun to play with at all.

It pretends to have depth by displaying loading screens detailing the needed button combinations to perform combos. At first you’ll start off memorising and using these combos, but you’ll soon resort to mere button bashing, because frankly, it doesn’t make a damned bit of difference what combos are attempted and random button bashing works just as well. Why even bother putting effort into it? A horse suffering from Parkinson’s Disease could do well at this game. As a result, even after topping a 2,000-hit combo there is no sense of satisfaction. With further progression, it becomes less a test of skill and more an endurance contest – how long can you sit playing before resorting to malt liquor to induce feelings of pleasure?

Despite the idea of having a massive army to command being brilliant in theory, the execution is dire and your allies are little more than a hindrance. Their AI is as pathetic as their zeal for carnage – watch and laugh as a dozen of them stand around limp-wristedly pretending to attack a single enemy and then missing, leaving you to single-handedly unleash hell unto the encroaching hordes. When your army is actually amidst the enemy it becomes difficult to comprehend what’s going on; abject confusion reigns supreme in N3. While there’s a radar and glowing arrows pointing out enemies, they’re not easy to follow and prove utterly useless. Battles lose focus and direction, and combined with the random nature of the button basing combos, it soon begins to feel as if there’s no control over what’s happening. The lack of checkpoints is also infuriating, as dying happens regularly.

The biggest draw is its enormous screen-filling battles against thousands, pity then that the mechanic is so fundamentally flawed and broken. The fact that other games, some even on older generations of hardware, have executed the same one-againstthousands concept so much more efficiently and with greater variety, makes the problems here unforgivable.

Shockingly, the environments are non-interactive, at times even lacking collision detection. Both Otogi titles on Microsoft’s previous hardware managed interactive and fully destroyable levels, resulting in fantastic titles of epic destruction, and yet this, which is intended to showcase the next generation, has your character running straight through fallen logs and directly into massive spiked barricades without even flinching. Plus everything is linear, with blocked off areas and endless invisible barriers. This style of design is sloppy, cheap, outdated and lazy.

Despite such problems, the overall production values are actually extremely high. The graphics, especially the sight of thousands marching over a hill, are stunning. Unfortunately, despite Q Entertainment and Phantagram’s clearly evident technical skill with the 360, their art direction is generic, uninspired, and dull. Everything has a loathsomely staid medieval style to it, reeking of too much Lord Of The Rings fanboyishness and not enough individual creativity.

Trudging through this quagmire of problems there are many stages, stat-boosting items and six extra characters to unlock; plus a variety of other bonuses, such as art galleries. But honestly, this is so uninspired and mindnumbingly repetitive that it’s unlikely many will have the gusto to go that far. The game disrespects players by assuming they have nothing better to do and nothing better to play on their 360 – it doesn’t even try to be compelling.

If you’re looking for a casual game to play with inebriated friends when you don’t feel like actually thinking, there’s a couple of hours’ worth of fun here. Otherwise, avoid it and wait until developers create a similar game with gameplay that doesn’t rely solely on a single gimmick.

John Szczepaniak