Trying to play Football Manager on 360, nay any console, is like performing open-heart surgery with three-foot long tweezers. Try as they might to come up with a control interface that doesn’t burn more calories than Simon’s morning run, the task just seems impossible. Like our erstwhile deputy editor, its refusal to allow any shortcuts whatsoever proves utterly tiresome.

It’s a shame to have to make the same inevitable argument time and again, but the symptoms are plain to see. So many times we’ve been negotiating a loan deal for some overlooked Premiership star, accidentally activating a clause to buy him for nothing because the stupid analogue stick is used to flick between active items. So many times we’ve longed for time-saving controls, such as clicking a player’s value to bring our bid to that figure, only to find out the powers that be have denied us such simple creature comforts. So many times we’ve wished the whole thing could at least have a pointer option, even if we’re to be denied a keyboard and mouse. Sniff.

And that’s before we move onto the interface decisions that are just plain bone-headed in their own right, such as a mid-match tactics screen that demands scrolling through all players before being able to alter their positions. Or perhaps a player search function that only allows you to search in blocks of five, forcing you to either find all scores above 15 and not be able to afford anyone, or all scores over ten and wade through heaps of effluent. On top of this, there’s the age-old issue of a maximum ten divisions being up for activation, which takes away from the whole ‘world of football’ vibe.

The bind, of course, comes through the fact that underneath everything this is still the greatest simulation of football’s tactics there is. Any losing run can be halted by a trip to the player instruction screen, tailoring your men’s style to their physicality. A few minutes spent instructing your centre backs to trot forwards for long throws can make that final third free-kick yield three points instead of just the one. As ever, it does feel like saving before a match then replaying would yield as many different results as attempts, and there’s no substitute for that. Get it?

Dave Shaw