Ever since we shot our first water buffalo at 25 yards with a 12- gauge pump action shotgun, we’ve held a special place in our hearts for the Cabela games. Yes, we know that hunting for pleasure is wrong and immoral, and yes we know that no innocent creature on God’s green earth should ever be hunted down, but we still can’t help ourselves.

Perhaps it’s the explicitness involved, but – in our eyes – patiently tracking a bull moose for the better part of a mile, before finally bringing it down with a slug to the back of the head is never, ever going to get boring. “So why the low score then?” we hear you ask. The answer’s simple really. Cabela’s Alaskan Adventures – like practically every Cabela game that’s come before it – is no more than a very average videogame.

Graphically it’s a shambling mess of a game, with the cold Alaskan environment looking like it’s been lifted straight from the PS2 version. The 360 could have created an absolutely beautiful representation of one of the world’s harshest locations, but instead we get a game that has all the graphical finesse of a hippopotamus (a real one mind, not those crappy Fantasia ones) being forced into a tutu and made to do ballet.Toss in some of the most laughable physics to ever feature in a videogame for good measure and Alaskan Adventures has to rely on its gameplay to save the day. Oh dear...

Yes, there’s plenty of variation in what you do – fishing, dog-sled riding, bird shooting – and yes, it’s a very accurate representation of the average redneck’s favourite pastime, but that’s where the problem lies. Cabela is simply far too authentic, and in trying to create an experience that’s as realistic as possible, it’s forgotten that this is first and foremost a game and games are supposed to be fun. As a result, many players will find Cabela to be about as exciting as changing bedpans at an old folk’s home.

Despite its vast dollops of averageness, we still can’t stop playing Alaskan Adventures. Maybe it’s because we’re patiently waiting for an online mode to appear. Oh wait, we know what it is. We’re just sick bastards.

Darran Jones