A tale of bargain woe

Let me take you back to 2006: it was a bad year, with another bad summer in the UK. We’re heading towards exam period in my college, I feel alienated by the education system so I think, ‘screw it, let’s go buy some games!’ and skive my afternoon class. In retrospect, I should’ve gone to History, that day. Instead, I picked up several bargains from now-defunct chain Woolworths. I bought Viewtiful Joe and Beyond Good & Evil for £2.99 in some kind of “you can have it cheap – but don’t bring it back”-style offer that meant neither came in a box. What I didn’t realise, however, was that tucked into manual of BG&E was a copy of Unreal II: The Awakening. Wait! Two copies! I was naturally thrilled, working at a convenience store at the time and making very little money.

One play, however, made me realise that this dated shooter wasn’t particularly good, and sadly, I haven’t been able to get rid of the two copies since. I’m thinking of giving them away to the reader who sends in the dumbest letter, next month.

Nobody wants them, and throwing it away just seems wasteful – so, I seem to be stuck with it. It’s currently collecting dust on a box in my bedroom, next to DVDs I don’t watch anymore. So, what do we learn from this story? A bargain can sometimes be deadly. That isn’t really a lesson, but it’s getting pretty late, so we’ll leave it there.