Dear X360 Magazine - Why do developers insist on wasting their time making games that I don't like? Why bother? They are all crap. I am a humble man, but a man of high standards nonetheless. In my life as a mindlessly stupid internet personality I have told many, many developers to their face (forums) that their product is worthless junk, despite their billion-selling "stats". I have stood (sat behind a keyboard) in front of them (on the other end of their web portal) and told them (typed) to their FACES (forum) and still they don't produce the games that I want (nay, am entitled) to play.
Modern Warfare 3 (linear pap), Mass Effect 3 (ruined by multiplayer), Kinect (wholly useless to any sentient being), Skyrim (too big, I don't have the time), NFS The Run (too short, do they think I'm made of money?). All hopeless. None of them the game that I want to play. And as an anonymous internet troll with the personality that ensures a life led indoors and out of reach of other lifeforms, I feel it is my right to tell you to get your act together and give every game ever made 1 star. Except Transformers: Dark of the Moon - that, my friends, is an under-rated gem.
The Internet (Phd)
If in doubt, put the kettle on.