What's pink, red, and can't turn round in corridors?
A baby with a javalin through it's throat.
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Crap joke thread
by Average Bear1 on Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:52 pm
"I was never afraid of failure, for I would sooner fail than not be among the best."
- John Keats
- John Keats
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Average Bear1 - Posts: 4103
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by Ginga on Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:58 pm
A farmer in West Virginia and his wife were lying in bed one evening, she was knitting, he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry. He looks up from the page and says to her, "Did you know that humans are the only species in which the female achieves orgasm?"
She looks at him wistfully, smiles, and replies, "Oh yeah? Prove it."
He frowns for a moment, then says, "O.K." He then gets up and walks out, leaving his wife with a confused look on her face.
About half an hour later he returns all tired and sweaty and says, "Well, I'm sure the cow and sheep didn't, but the way that pig squealed, it's hard to tell."
She looks at him wistfully, smiles, and replies, "Oh yeah? Prove it."
He frowns for a moment, then says, "O.K." He then gets up and walks out, leaving his wife with a confused look on her face.
About half an hour later he returns all tired and sweaty and says, "Well, I'm sure the cow and sheep didn't, but the way that pig squealed, it's hard to tell."
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Ginga - Posts: 4276
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by Ginga on Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:01 pm
Not that funny, but then again this is the crap joke thread.
A blond and a brunette were at work when they heard on the radio that a man was about to commit suicide by jumping off of a freeway overpass.
The brunette bets the blond fifty dollars that the man will jump, and the blond responds quickly betting the same amount that he won't jump. About fifteen minutes later, they hear that the man has jumped and killed himself.
The blond pulls out the money to pay the brunette, but the brunette refuses. the blond keeps insisting and finally the brunette admits that she saw the whole thing on TV an hour before.
The blond replies, "That's OK, I saw the whole thing too, but I never dreamed he'd jump again."
A blond and a brunette were at work when they heard on the radio that a man was about to commit suicide by jumping off of a freeway overpass.
The brunette bets the blond fifty dollars that the man will jump, and the blond responds quickly betting the same amount that he won't jump. About fifteen minutes later, they hear that the man has jumped and killed himself.
The blond pulls out the money to pay the brunette, but the brunette refuses. the blond keeps insisting and finally the brunette admits that she saw the whole thing on TV an hour before.
The blond replies, "That's OK, I saw the whole thing too, but I never dreamed he'd jump again."
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Ginga - Posts: 4276
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by Ginga on Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:02 pm
Where the old tradition of putting an angel on top of a Christmas tree came from:
Santa was having a bad day. Mrs Claus was nagging and PMS. The dwarves were working slowly due to rotating strikes and picket lines. There were serious assembly problems. Claus's daughter required expensive dental care after biting down on her tongue ring. Rudolf was getting old and stodgy, and was having elimination problems. And Claus himself put his back out working out at the local Fitness World. In the midst of all this a shimmering angel arrived one evening with a lovely tree. As Claus answered the door, frowning and muttering, the angel smiled and said "Merry Christmas, Santa! Here's your tree. Where do you want me to stick it?"
Hehe.
Santa was having a bad day. Mrs Claus was nagging and PMS. The dwarves were working slowly due to rotating strikes and picket lines. There were serious assembly problems. Claus's daughter required expensive dental care after biting down on her tongue ring. Rudolf was getting old and stodgy, and was having elimination problems. And Claus himself put his back out working out at the local Fitness World. In the midst of all this a shimmering angel arrived one evening with a lovely tree. As Claus answered the door, frowning and muttering, the angel smiled and said "Merry Christmas, Santa! Here's your tree. Where do you want me to stick it?"
Hehe.
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Ginga - Posts: 4276
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by Insect Nation on Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:05 pm
Average Bear1 wrote:What's pink, red, and can't turn round in corridors?
A baby with a javalin through it's throat.
I prefer this one...
How do you get a baby out of a tree?
You give a Mexican a stick and tell him it's a piñata!
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Insect Nation - Posts: 276
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by Average Bear1 on Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:08 pm
Whats worse than 8 babies nailed to a tree?
1 baby nailed to 8 trees.
1 baby nailed to 8 trees.
"I was never afraid of failure, for I would sooner fail than not be among the best."
- John Keats
- John Keats
-
Average Bear1 - Posts: 4103
- Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 5:20 pm
- Location: Northern Ireland
by Ginga on Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:13 pm
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
So you can see the expression on its face!
Nail its other hand to the floor.
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
So you can see the expression on its face!
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Ginga - Posts: 4276
- Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2008 7:21 pm
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by lorikitten on Fri Mar 28, 2008 1:34 pm
This is the "crap joke" thread.
just incase you didnt notice
just incase you didnt notice
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lorikitten - Posts: 733
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by Average Bear1 on Fri Mar 28, 2008 3:36 pm
Broshmosh wrote:So I herd u leik mudkipz.
"I was never afraid of failure, for I would sooner fail than not be among the best."
- John Keats
- John Keats
-
Average Bear1 - Posts: 4103
- Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2007 5:20 pm
- Location: Northern Ireland
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