Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
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Crap joke thread
Re: Crap joke thread
by Cerebral_Wolf on Sat Jul 16, 2011 5:17 pm
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing?
I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.
I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.
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Cerebral_Wolf - Posts: 17750
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- Location: Aboard the Normandy
Re: Crap joke thread
by Cerebral_Wolf on Sat Jul 16, 2011 6:47 pm
Roses are red, violets are blue
I've got Alzheimer's
cheese on toast
I've got Alzheimer's
cheese on toast
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Cerebral_Wolf - Posts: 17750
- Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 9:28 am
- Location: Aboard the Normandy
Re: Crap joke thread
by Keep 117 on Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:46 am
Wolfie... Please stop. 
We're so used to going to sleep with nightmares that we can't believe in waking up to a dream.
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Keep 117 - Posts: 1126
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Re: Crap joke thread
by Cerebral_Wolf on Sun Jul 17, 2011 1:49 am
Why?......
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
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Cerebral_Wolf - Posts: 17750
- Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 9:28 am
- Location: Aboard the Normandy
Re: Crap joke thread
by The_Deleted on Sun Jul 17, 2011 7:06 am
How do you keep a wanker from looking at porn?
....
....
....
same way I just did.
....
....
....
same way I just did.
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The_Deleted - Posts: 762
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Re: Crap joke thread
by Keep 117 on Mon Jul 18, 2011 2:17 am
Cerebral_Wolf wrote:Why?......
I can't take anymore, please Wolfie spare my senses this barrage!
We're so used to going to sleep with nightmares that we can't believe in waking up to a dream.
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Keep 117 - Posts: 1126
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Re: Crap joke thread
by Bob on Wed Jul 20, 2011 1:16 pm
I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots & potatoes,so I asked the kids if they'd seen it. Apparently she left me yesterday .
We need to learn when to say "enough", rather than gluttonously devouring more and more of the same thing through sheer force of habit.
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Bob - Posts: 24292
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Re: Crap joke thread
by CherryCokeChaos on Wed Jul 20, 2011 5:17 pm
How does mario contact his dead brother?
He uses a Luigi board.
He uses a Luigi board.
25.
Gamer.
Lover.
Insults about your mother.
“A lot of things that happened [in the past] would have broken anybody else. I was able to survive. That's all that really matters.”
Gamer.
Lover.
Insults about your mother.
“A lot of things that happened [in the past] would have broken anybody else. I was able to survive. That's all that really matters.”
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CherryCokeChaos - Posts: 2926
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- Location: End of the world baby, wouldn't want to be anywhere else.
Re: Crap joke thread
by Cerebral_Wolf on Fri Jul 22, 2011 12:44 am
If two people in wheelchairs are having a conversation, is it considered mobile to mobile?
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Cerebral_Wolf - Posts: 17750
- Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 9:28 am
- Location: Aboard the Normandy
Re: Crap joke thread
by Cerebral_Wolf on Fri Jul 22, 2011 12:49 am
Feeling kinda misanthropic. Tomorrow I think I will buy a chicken, dress it in a babygrow put it in a pram and push it into traffic until I ruin someone's whole summer.
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Cerebral_Wolf - Posts: 17750
- Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 9:28 am
- Location: Aboard the Normandy
Re: Crap joke thread
by Cerebral_Wolf on Fri Jul 22, 2011 12:50 am
thinks his childhood self would be extremely disappointed if he knew the closest he would ever get to a 'Choose Your Own Adventure' was drunk texting.
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Cerebral_Wolf - Posts: 17750
- Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 9:28 am
- Location: Aboard the Normandy
Re: Crap joke thread
by Cerebral_Wolf on Fri Jul 22, 2011 12:58 am
"I like my women like I like my urinals: covered in piss and nailed to the wall"
or
"I like my women like I like my microwaves-with a melted baby inside."
Also
"If tomatoes are fruit... Then isn't ketchup technically a smoothie?"
or
"I like my women like I like my microwaves-with a melted baby inside."
Also
"If tomatoes are fruit... Then isn't ketchup technically a smoothie?"
Last edited by Cerebral_Wolf on Fri Jul 22, 2011 1:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Cerebral_Wolf - Posts: 17750
- Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 9:28 am
- Location: Aboard the Normandy
Re: Crap joke thread
by Cerebral_Wolf on Fri Jul 22, 2011 1:00 am
I'm going to start posting more funny facebook status updates in here too, no point starting another thread, especially as i'm using half this stuff on facebook anyway..
"X got his test results - "You are a horrible person." That's what it says, a horrible person. They weren't even testing for that "
"I'm not just a regular moron. I'm the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. "
"X got his test results - "You are a horrible person." That's what it says, a horrible person. They weren't even testing for that "
"I'm not just a regular moron. I'm the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived. "
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Cerebral_Wolf - Posts: 17750
- Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 9:28 am
- Location: Aboard the Normandy
Re: Crap joke thread
by Cerebral_Wolf on Fri Jul 22, 2011 1:01 am
Last night I ate at a place that actually serves Wookie Steaks. It was a little Chewy.
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Cerebral_Wolf - Posts: 17750
- Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2007 9:28 am
- Location: Aboard the Normandy
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